Value: Let Go the Ego - March 2025
First Week: Detect and reduce strong identifications & possessiveness
The essence of the ego is identification. It starts with the belief, "I am the body," and expands to include the senses, mind, and intellect. This identification further extends to everything that one perceives as "own," encompassing opinions, beliefs, faith, family, traditions, culture, and even objects as well as other people.
For example, when someone disagrees with something you consider as your "own," the ego reacts defensively, much like a venomous serpent raising its hood and hissing in retaliation.
Create a list of all that you consider as 'yours' and reflect on how much it affects your thoughts and emotions.
No one truly enjoys someone else's ego. Interestingly, we often fail to recognize our own egotistical behavior. To change this, we need to put in the effort to reflect on ourselves.
List those that you feel possessive about and observe how your thoughts revolve around them throughout your day. Consider how these attachments influence your emotions, feelings, priorities, and habits.
Don't confuse possessiveness with love; possessiveness is actually a form of attachment. Many painful experiences stem from these attachments. While love offers freedom, possessiveness seeks to control.
Work on reducing the tendency to compel others to behave or act according to your wishes.
Each one of us is born independently. According to most Eastern religious teachings, our birth is meant to fulfill our karma. Your own children may rely on you until they develop their individuality. Once they become more self-assured, their unique perspectives and approaches to life will emerge.
As a parent, it is essential to guide the next generation by educating them and instilling the right samskaras (values) to help them thrive. However, you cannot force them to behave according to your wishes; their karma will ultimately shape their lives beyond your control.
Your influence will be even less with those who are not closely related to you. As a leader of a group, department, or institution, your role is to provide vision, direction, and inspiration so that everyone understands their tasks and can work toward achieving them.
Make a list of things you feel you cannot live without, and consciously spend some quiet time without thinking about them.
We are often possessive not only about our Body, Mind, and Intellect but also the objects that we have. These attachments can dictate our happiness, allowing inanimate objects to control our minds.
Taking a break from these possessions for a little while each day can help us diminish the ego's strong sense of identification. For instance, consider giving yourself a holiday from your iPad, TV, coffee or tea, sweets, and texting—one each day.
Replace these habits or addictions with healthier alternatives, and observe how your feelings change as a result.
March Week 1 Guidance Audio:
Q & A
If someone speaks rudely or ill about someone in our family, and we feel hurt and angry, how is that ego? It seems to be a normal response to misconduct. How are we to respond instead to hurtful words or comments or false accusations?
- Ego is tied to identification. If a particular family member isn't truly someone you consider family, or if it's someone you don't like, you won't be affected in the same way by their actions or words. The phrase "my family" is an identification that affects our reactions. However, it's important to recognize that any rude comment or criticism should be objected to, even if it pertains to a stranger.
- As a seeker on a spiritual path (sadhaka), you should engage with the person and try to understand the reasons behind their dislike. Reflect on whether there is any truth in their words. Your practice (sadhana) involves rising above mere reactions and transforming them into thoughtful responses. Start by viewing the situation as an isolated event, without any preconceived notions or biases about the individual.
- If this person's behavior is consistently negative toward many others as well, it’s likely a situation you cannot resolve. In such cases, it’s best to let them be and instead pray for their well-being.
- If the participation only adds more agitation to your mind, leave the group. Please understand that we are here to correct our own mistakes which elevate us to gain inner peace and tranquility. Correct their understanding with appropriate information and let go.
