Value: Simplicity - January 2025
Second week: Avoid talking about yourself to others. Do not be too judgmental about your behavior. Improve, do not condemn
Bhagavan Adi Shankaracharya, while introducing the subject matter of the Bhagavad Gita, notes that all humans are consistently engaged in two pursuits: the pursuit of happiness (सुख-प्राप्ति) and the avoidance of suffering (दुःख-निवृत्ति).
We tend to seek out what brings us joy and avoid what causes us unhappiness, whether these are objects, situations, people, or memories.
When we focus only on these two aspects, we often overlook the inherent joy or bliss within us. It’s akin to missing the all-pervading space that accommodates everything around us; we only recognize the space once all the objects in a room are removed. When we quiet our minds from the constant chatter of likes and dislikes, we can become aware of the silent presence of Pure Consciousness, which is inherently blissful.
Both external and internal triggers contribute to our likes and dislikes. By refraining from discussing our strong preferences with others, we consciously reduce their influence on our minds. To make this practice more effective, avoiding external triggers, such as spending time with people who express strong opinions about political ideologies or religious fundamentalism is also important.
To enhance our awareness of personal areas of hatred, we should list those things that trigger feelings of anger, sorrow, frustration, and similar emotions. This exercise should be approached with caution to avoid bringing up unwanted memories. Additionally, we should decide not to speak about or dwell on these negative feelings.
We are all born with certain shortcomings that we need to work on. Instead of condemning ourselves, let's focus on overcoming these shortcomings with external help and healthy habits. Often, starting to learn a new skill or reorganizing our daily routine can help us break the habit of brooding over our own failures and setbacks.
A religious fanatic went to a Master and said, 'Allow me to read from the teachings of my Guru.'
'I shall listen with pleasure,' said the Master.
He read a few sentences and looked up. The Master said, 'Whoever wrote those was truly enlightened one!'
Pleased, he read further. The Master commented, 'Those words are from one who must be radiant with divinity.'
Leaving the Master, when he met his Guru he reported, 'I got that man to admit that you are divine and enlightened.'
The Guru smiled and said, 'Did that do you any good except inflate your ego?'
January Week 2 Guidance Audio:
Q & A
- It is often said, "squeaky wheel gets the grease." We are expected to be more vocal in highlighting the contributions and value we bring to the workplace. The silent hard worker usually goes unnoticed and typically doesn't get an opportunity to participate. What should our advice to him be?
- In today's world, speaking about one's own accomplishments is necessary to get noticed and to get the opportunity to prove oneself through more challenging projects at the workplace. There is nothing wrong with this because you are speaking about facts, not fancies! But avoid unprompted conversations focusing only on you!
- How do we face people who may be very close to us, and who strongly criticize our actions, habits, and behavior?
- विद्यते न खलु कश्चिदुपायः सर्वलोक-परितोषकरो यः | सर्वथा स्वहितमाचरणीयं किं करिष्यति जनो बहुजल्पः ||There is no method by which anyone can make everyone happy. Always engage in personal upliftment. The world will only comment.
- Vasanas determine our likes and dislikes, forming the basis of being judgmental about people’s habits, especially near and dear ones. How to overcome this tendency?
- Vasanas cannot be overcome without adopting a sattvic attitude. For example, prioritizing one's health can moderate a strong desire for food. Similarly, when you notice a particular habit in someone you care about, it is more effective to change your attitude and offer support to help them overcome it, rather than being judgmental.
- In a corporate setting, sharing feedback on shortcomings is essential. Many believe that negative motivation is more effective, and often it proves successful, leading to an acceptance of this approach.
- In your current approach, many often settle for immediate or instant results. We should consider whether this truly benefits personal growth or simply helps someone prove themselves in a challenging situation. Relying on negative motivation may not lead to positive growth in the long run.
- I just now had a conversation with a relative and he wanted to know what activities I am involved in and if it is helping me. And my response to him is all about 'me and what I gain out of it. What is the borderline in speaking about one's likes and dislikes?
- There is nothing wrong in speaking about what you do that has benefitted you, with others who can be helped by that. Avoid your strong opinions of likes and dislikes which are of no benefit to others.
- Regarding the likes and dislikes, should we list what triggers those feelings - and allow our acknowledgment to let them fade? Or should we be listing alternative 'healthier' ways of dealing with them? In either case, Ideally, we don't want to fan the flames of dying embers.
- If you can list alternative healthier ways to deal with them, please do. After all, reorganizing our lives with a healthier lifestyle alone can give us enough time to quiet the mind in meditation.
- How do we stop from condemning ourselves if we accidentally repeat a mistake?
- Does condemning yourself help you grow, or does it lead to regret and depression? Self-improvement is slow but steady; you cannot expect overnight change. Many of our inherent tendencies can only be overcome through self-observation and self-correction. There are no shortcuts to personal growth.
- How can I simplify my mental energy when friends neglect email or WhatsApp etiquette? I always try to acknowledge messages and calls because I believe it’s respectful, but many people around me are more casual and don't respond. Am I overcomplicating things by focusing on myself? How can I reduce the mental chatter and stop judging myself and others?
- We always look at the world from our own standpoint. Our priorities need not be everyone's priorities. We must recognize that everyone's life is filled with both predictable and unpredictable situations. Admitted that some may be casual in treating your messages. Remaining silent does not mean rejection.
- I was doing something to be recognized & I told my mind I shouldn’t be doing it, am I still creating an entry into the paap punya log? when I think about my self-corrections, how can I stop boosting my ego about MY ability to correct myself?
- Any action marked by ego will leave a lasting impression on your psyche. Spiritual practice must focus on eliminating all assertions of the ego, especially in your pursuits of spiritual growth.
- In my personal life, I have a hard time confronting others. So I try to let others know how I feel about their behavior with gestures, signals, or sometimes verbally. But if a person still either ignores me or doesn’t understand, then I end up getting angry with them. In this process lot of time, I make people go against me or lose respect for me. It is hard for me to forgive or not criticize someone when I am upset with them as I had informed them about my view/ feelings in the past. I have a very hard time to forgive and forget.
- A sadhaka should primarily focus on personal growth, allowing the world to take care of itself if one seeks freedom. This focus is not selfish. Gurudev often said, "When you change, the world around you will also change." Do not give anyone around you control over your mind.
